At the moment I feel angry. Angry. Angry. Angry.
So angry that I can not sleep.
So angry that I have been lashing out at my husband and myself for insignificant and unrelated reasons.
Over the past few weeks I have thought about my famous temper and how at 30 I have been able to pretty much tame it. Seeing as I am currently angry I thought it would only be appropriate to share my secrets on how to deal with anger.
1. Understand that anger is an expression of “not getting what you need”. This is something someone told me a while ago. He explained to me that all anger stems from hurt. Now when I am angry I try to think of what is really making me feel this way and why I feel hurt. By acknowledging and dealing with the hurt I am then able to dissipate the anger.
2. The same person told me that anger is o.k. Yes it is ugly but sometimes we have a right to be angry and that we should feel angry. By feeling angry we will be able to acknowledge and start dealing with whatever is causing us to feel so upset.
3. Now if I am angry I try to deal with my emotions positively. That means no heated confrontations or negative exchanges. Instead I try to confide in a friend and let things simmer down. No angry emails. No angry phone calls.
4. People don’t respect angry people. No matter how valid your concerns are if you are angry you will not be listened to.
5. Stay away from your mother or others who will only encourage negative feeling. My mother, (who I love dearly), has a way of inciting my anger. She will just put things in a certain way which will somehow make me see red. Now I try to keep things neutral around her if I know I am feeling upset.
6. If you do get angry acknowledge it immediately and apologize. Say that you were feeling hurt and are sorry for getting angry. It’s the right thing to do and can start a positive dialogue to repair the issue at hand.
7. Forgive your own anger. Forgive others for their mistakes. Get over it. Move on and be happy!